| Allissa 的个人资料I Can Only Imagine...日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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8月17日 The poo has hit the fan...Ah well, I have been a bit busy lately and yesterday I was so upset that I could not put two words together. This is getting off the norm of things I blog about but I must get this off my chest.
The other day I was asked by my friend's mom to come over because she wanted to have a chat with me. I am a bit older than her son and daughter (I hang out with both) so I figured that there is no problem with seeing what she had to say. I sit down in her "office" and she tells me that her and her husband do not "approve of the way that I conduct my marriage". She was saying this practically yelling at me. I was thinking to myself - well I am happy, just celebrated my 3 year wedding anniversary, and have lived 2 of our married years in a third world country. We must be doing something right. I did not say anything in my defense because I did not want to cause strain on the mom/daughter/son/friend relationships that we all have.
Then she (a South African BTW) told me that she was against inter racial marriages and that I should not project the idea on to her kids that it is ok. Well, I am sorry but I do not find anything wrong with it, obviously since I am in an inter racial marriage myself. How would I even do that without being a hypocrite? I will not tell someone just because someone told me, to say that I believe a certain way when in fact I do not. I will stand up for what I believe in whether anyone likes it or not.
Her kids were listening to the conversation from outside the door. They apologised over and over to me about what happened. When the mom left that night for a church group I started yelling and swearing up a big ruckus. Come to find out the mom was being sneeky and only pretended to leave. She was right outside the window the whole time. So yesterday was spent writing an email to her husband (who is currently in the DR of Congo) and who I have a great deal of respect for. I wonder why she did not just wait to have him come back in a couple of weeks and sit down all of us to chat. He forwared that email to the mom. Later last night I had the daughter call me and say that her mom wanted to chat. I said I was busy and tired. Then the mom called. I did not answer. Then I receive an sms from the daughter saying that I should really resolve this and come over and talk with her mom because she wants to talk. I said "not tonight. I am sleepy and have not yet calmed down."
There is a lot more to the story but I will leave it here for now. I am already getting a bit worked up.
aak 8月9日 Power or lack thereof.Before I explain the silly thing that happened this morning I need to give you a breakdown on what is going on in Tanzania. Right now we are experiencing "power rationing". It has been going on for months - since about May or something like that. Some areas have a fixed schedule others are every other day with power/without and some are like me - confused. Our "schedule" is this:
Saturday: No power Sunday: Power
Monday: No Power
Tuesday: Your guess is as good as mine. (I think they use the coin toss like the weather guys)
Wednesday: Power
Thursday: No power
Friday: Power
Saturday and Sunday are strictly followed and there is an attempt to do every other day but this is of course impossible to do with 7 days. They try...barely.
Now this morning is Wednesday so that means Power. I go to switch on the iron when my husband tells me that the iron is having problems and will not heat up - at all. I am thinking great! One more expense that I DO NOT need right now. But I decide that men are not the most intelligent creatures when it comes to home appliances. The little light comes on and then turns off as normal when it is ready. The iron was perfectly fine.
Me: Did the little light come on when you turned the iron on that time?
Hubs: No
Me: Did you turn on the bedroom light? (we usually do this to check if there is power)
Hubs: No
Me: Did you turn on the fan?
Hubs: No
Me: Well, than I can safely asses that you attempted to use te "broken" iron when there was no power.
Ah! The look I got then was a look of death! I'm such a smart ass!
8月4日 Only in TZOnly in Tanzania will you find a fork lift driving down a road that is a major throughfare for the city. A 2 lane road having one lane with extremely pissed off drivers as they attempt to swerve around the very slow fork lift.
Thank you Tanzania for keeping me entertained.
Only on MSN Spaces will I have to change my url 4 times in the course of 10 months. Only on Spaces does my RSS reader get confused to hell and take several days (automatically) updating all these new url changes.
I will try to be around to update and add all this new stuff and visit everyone as soon as I fix up my computer. I think it has been sleeping around and contacted a VD. Might possibly be pregnant also. I will be giving it some tests to see what is the cause. I just hope it does not have HIV also...
aak 8月1日 Explosion of FizzOn Sunday the girls and I went on a massive boat trip/outing/adventure for a friends birthday. But that is another blog. I first have to mention the stupid things that I do to liven up this place.
The girls decided to meet for breakfast in the morning at Java Lounge. This is the same place that the ketchup basket episode happened AND it happens to belong to one of my friends. I was not feeling pancakes (still a bit hung over from the night before), the bacon was WAY too expensive for my tastes, and I do not do eggs - at all. So I see my friend is drinking what appears to be lemonade so I ask for one. It is not lemonade it is lime soda. Sounds yummy to me. Something like limeade I am sure. No. Wrong. I get theis NASTY concoction of a drink that is sour and just wrong. I ask what in God's great earth this is and I am told it is fresh lime juice with soda water. No sugar. Does this seem nasty to anyone else or just me? I decide that my genius cells are working and that I would just add some sugar to the mess and then it will taste ok. almost like limeade. I learned something that day that I was never taught in chemistry class. Adding sugar to soda water/lime juice concoction will cause excessive fizzing and volcano-like properties. Needless to say I had half of the glass spilled on the table. The best thing...the other girls were so busy chatting they missed it!
They are going to kick me out of that place one day! 7月27日 Weather SmeatherWhat is up with this weather thingie that I have added? Is anyone else noticing how off it is? Now, I understand that the art of predicting weather is either a very complicated one (charts, maps, radar, high tech equipment stuff, etc) or it is just a guessing game (Hey Frank, should we use the coin toss or the dart board today?) Or you can just use common sense.
What has prompted this fit of insanity from me? The fact that the weather module shows 4 days for Dar es Salaam and out of those days, there is always at least ONE day it shows it raining, usually more than one. I want to know how they determine this because it is DRY SEASON. There will be BARELY any rain until the - guess what - RAINY SEASON. Now during the rainy season it will rain at least once in four days, if not every day.
I am sure that there are those of you out there who have heard in the past about the Kenyans dying of hunger. It is a big thing. Usually a story on CNN and some other news channels. And maybe you have picked up on the fact that they are hungry because they can not grow crops. And if we dig a bit further into things we realize that they can not grow crops because there is a DROUGHT happening. And guess why there is a drought every year in Kenya at the same time of the year... because it is DRY season. Ergo: none to very very little rain fall. And guess what even farther. Kenya is directly North of Tanzania and has the same weather patterns.
At least I know that I am smarter than the module.
aak
PS: Pole sana (very sorry) to all of you battling the heat wave in the US!
7月21日 DobiesWhy do we have to have a dog? Cats are so much better and more intelligent. As most of you know, I am in the process of breeding my female Psycho Doberman. Things are not going as planned. As you can see, the Male Dobie has given up and is just staring at the female. Showing the female how pathetic his miserable life actually is. One moment he would be running around, looking for something to hump and the next moment he would be sprawled out on the ground, ready to cry that he can not get any. Pathetic.
This pic just goes to show you how pathetically useless this dog is. He is a male. There is a female just nearby who is in heat, really needing a good, you know what, and he is just laying here all depressed. Stupid dog.
Male and female Dobie have been moved to the male Dobie's home where there is supposedly some privacy. (was the male having preformance anxiety issues?). Anyway, so I will not be seeing any humping or sticking or any of that. Fine by me.
aak
HELP!HELP! My space is totally messed!!! Please, please any help?!? aak
Ok, after HOURS that I DO NOT have I finally deleted my last entry and things went back to normal. I will publish the entry about the stupid Dobies when I have ample time to figure out what I did wrong that fkd everything up. I am SO mad because I can not quite get caught up reading all of the pages I want to read. And then I take precious time away from newsgatoring (reading you all by RSS) and working (to earn the cash) to deal with a stupid space! GRRR! Sorry to Aafrica, Sue (Mominator), and Elizabeth who all had to deal with commenting on half a page and then having it all deleted! Sorry guys! I saved your comments though. That's how much I love you all. aak 7月15日 Locked OutWell, I came home to a HUGE masssive Doberman who must have been horney as hell because he started to jump on me ... good thing I am not a teeny tiny little girl or I WOULD have been knocked to the ground. I am 5'7" and that dog, standing up is WAY taller than I am.
Later in the evening, I was outside with the new house help (nicer girl) and we were watching this pathetic courtship of the silly Dobermans. Comical. That is another update... I was only dressed in a Khanga (a piece of cloth wrapped around me). And all the keys and my cell phone were guess where. In the house. All of the sudden the big Doberman decides that he is not getting anywhere with Psycho Doberman and that aak looks like she would like some lovin'. Jumped hard on me, I knock into the door and it latches (and therefore locks). I had to go to the neighbors house and ask to call my husband to get keys to let us in. How embarrassing. The husband could not quite fathom how a dog could lock out 2 people from the house.
I'm hiding a spare key outside!
Stay tuned for more mating news...
aak 7月10日 The Furry B****is getting someAh Ha! MSN is just a peice of crap. My dog is a bitch in heat and I can not even call her that in the title. Context MSN, it is all about CONTEXT!
But yes, I am sure that when I come home I will have an even-more-psycho-than-normal Psycho Doberman. My husband has been wanting to breed her ever since we got her, fully grown, about 3 months or so ago. Yesterday I noticed that she was in heat and called up the husband. He had not noticed her. "Huh?!? Are you SURE??" Yes husband I am sure. "How do you know?" Oh, men. Will they ever figure women things out? Stupid question...
So now today I get an sms saying to leave the car outside and be careful going in because there is another Doberman in with our Psycho Doberman. This should be interesting. I have never seen dogs mating! When do they do it? Will they keep me up at night? Will they be finished and smoking when I come home? Do they do it doggy style?? Hehe sorry, I really couldn't resist!
I will try not to take any pictures!! 7月4日 A Lizard TaleGuess what? I'm Back! Finally, after OVER a month I have internet. The keyboard sucks so if I leave strange spellings that is what it is, I promise. It will probably take dsays to get caught up so I'll see you all sometime this week (fingers crossed!)
Well, today I finally had reason to laugh again.
I was sweeping the inside doorway area because it gets very sandy when I saw a lizard. So what do I do, naturally I just sweep him outside with the dust. (These critters are very common here.) Well, the Psychotic Doberman was out there and saw the little beast get flung out so she decided to chase! Then suddenly there is no movement. I walked over to the area and saw the lizard attempting camoflauge, and doing a very good job of it. I proceed to poke the thing and it takes off running which sends Psychotic Doberman into a frenzy! She was running in circles and then move up the wall when she bit the tail of of the lizardf. Now lizard tails act alive even after they are removed from the body. It is a defense mechanism. So here is this doberman staring, head tipped to the side at a small wiggling tail while a nice tasty lizard escaped. Ah, well, another time Psychotic Doberman, another time...
aak 6月28日 Down in the hole...Caution: Contains negative attitude and excessive complaining.
I really wanted to FINALLY update my space with something nice but that is not going to happen. Please let me take this time to complain.
First off I STILL do not have internet. I am stealing this bit of time while the boss is away. And unfortunately, the boss has not been away much. I miss so many people!
Second, and most disturbing is this... We had a house girl. Basically someone to clean and do laundy. It is a very common thing here and I did not want someone else to do it but with the new job and everything I just do not have the time or patience to do the housework. These girls usually get about 20,000/- or less than $20 a month. But keep in mind that is the same amount that is paid to the local bar worker who is required to take any and all harassment from the bargoers. So being a housegirl is pretty good. Especially because they are usually still living with parents...bla bla bla. Enough of me justifying the girl.
Guess what. The b#%$^ STOLE from me. Ok, first I noticed some of my very special Bath and Body and Victoria's secret stuff was missing. But yesterday I realized that she CLEANED OUT my jewelry case. I am missing everything. Even the cross that my grandpa gave me for my first communion. EVERYTHING. Not only did I lose a lot of monetary value, there is no way to replace the gifts I have lost.
The girl is in jail now but I am sure that she has sold everything and she has no money so there is no way I could even get $10 from her. I want to bash her head in, I know that is not nice, but I REALLY want to! I am just to the rock bottom now. I have had so many things stolen from me and I have NOTHING in my house. LITERALLY. I am starting to think that I am never supposed to have ANY possessions...
Sorry you suffered through reading this...
aak 6月19日 Tiger Anatomy 101The job is going pretty well but STILL no internet connection. I am at the BIG bosses desk right now...being very sneeky...he is out of the country. So I am still not able to visit all of you like I would like to. Maybe later this week (fingers crossed!)
Welcome to Tiger Anatomy 101. I expect that you will all enjoy this course. Today, for your first lesson I think it would be best if I first show you a tiger. I do understand that this is a statue and that tigers do not normally smile like this, but you can get the basic appearance and structure of the tiger. I personally find the smile to be cute, well, lets just say, interesting. Please note that tigers have stripes and for this excercise, this tiger has yellow-ish and black stripes.
Now for your second basic lesson in Tiger Anatomy 101 we will be determining the sex of the tiger. This is also referred to as "sexing an animal". Sexing an animal does not mean having sex with said animal. Now, the easiest and most convenient way to tell the sex of a tiger is by elimination. If the tiger has a penis, it is a male tiger. See picture below of a penis.
Now I bet that you are wondering where I found this pic. This is on a statue outside of a pub here in Dar es Salaam. They have statues of many animlas, birds and such. But why put a penis on the tiger? And one that BIG in fact? 6月15日 The Old Has Become NEW!Still no internet connection hopefully Monday - still stealing Bosses computer. So hopefully I can start seeing you all more often! Sorry about the blog walk delay!
Thanks Gelert for this weeks topic: Do you remember back when no one read your blog except your best mate and a couple of goldfish? No? Ahh, must just be me then. Well, I often wonder about all those archives people have, and sometimes have a peep. What I'd like you to do is select something from your blog archives, that you really like for any reason - funny, touching, important to you, daft, whatever you like - and re-post it, or the link to it, for those of us who like your site now and didn't know you then.
This is important because I deal with it on a daily basis and now it has become normal.I am modifying the original entry slightly.
Psycho Taxis The mark of the taxi is the white license plate (versus yellow for ordinary cars). You can spot them by their apparent lack of concern for anyone on the road, including themselves or their passenger/s. They love to drive dangerously fast, swerve, weave, cut in, invent "special lanes" for themselves, and HOOT!! They love to hoot. Guaranteed if you are in a line and you are not moving, just waiting, a taxi will think that it helps to hoot. The louder and longer the hoot, the more the jam will become better. These are the guys that get sworn at the most. They are the worst drivers ever! Most of the time the taxi is in semi-decent shape. There are ones that are a bit dented and the insides less than perfect, but all around they are “fair”. Daladala of Death Please see the visual aid. The daladalas in the picture are in good shape. The bus on the left is a true daladala, while the right is a City Bus which is in much better condition, better drivers, actually having room to sit, and all around pretty comfortable.  The daladala: take a taxi and turn it into a mini bus with what I think must be “supposed” super powers. Not only can they weave and cut in they can do it with SIZE. These things are evil. They have what I like to call the “grrrr….you didn’t just do that…” cut-in. Imagine you are in slow traffic and there is one in his little-off-the-shoulder bus area and wants to come back in. (He is parallel to you.) All he does is slowly nudge his way (sideways) towards you and he gets so close that you think he will scratch the side of your car, so you are pretty much forced to slow down or stop, in which case the daladala goes zooming on in to the space. Very sneaky and evil. Most of the accidents here are as a direct result of a daladala and many people have died or become seriously hurt. Also these little things are Japanese modified cars. They have been converted to hold 2x as many people (19 or something instead of 10) and they are low to the ground, low roofed, for short people. Most of these daladalas are in pitiful condition. Things falling off, no lights, doors that do not close, windows that are imitation-duct-taped with plastic sheets. You name it. If they are in town they are much better because if they are not they will have to bribe the traffic police...more on that later.
But my favorite daladala is…
The SMOKER: This is any vehicle, but mostly dala dalas, that emit black smoke. Now, I am not talking about a little puff. I am talking that cars behind the thing can not see ANYTHING. It is like darkness has settled on the land. They stink and are dangerous!! There is so much smoke that comes out of the back of one of those things. The daladala itself is usually in pretty bad shape too! These are the best, you must come here so I can show you one of these. It is such an experience!! They are mainly the daladalas that go out of town where there are no traffic police to see them.
This is what I face on a daily basis. 6月11日 Showing my donkey to the world! (MSN will not let me use my word of choice)Hey all! I hope to get a computer by Tuesday so that I can personally visit all of you. I am at a friend's office (on a Sunday mind you) to drop a quickie! :) The job is going pretty well. Just doing a bit of training stuff for now. I'll get that wish list ready, I PROMISE! That is one thing I will not forget.
I was thinking of including a picture but then I thought about it and decided against it.
Today I was with a friend and we were walking into this convienence store. I just get inside and this girl comes up to me and says, "Uh, can I talk to you?" I find this a very odd request because people just do not talk to complete strangers very much, that is unless it is someone asking for money or trying to hit on me. I say something like ok and she proceeds to tell me that I have a problem with my pants. At this same moment I was wondering why my donkey was feeling a bit of a breeze.
My pants ripped. I mean RIPPED! The WHOLE ass ... ahem donkey ... is completely split. Top of ass to bottom. Luckily for me I have a friend with to fetch the kanga (piece of cloth, not to be confused with the bird of the same name) from my car.
So I thought a picture would definitely convey the seriousess of the situation, but, well, I love you guys and all but I do not think I could afford the therapy you would need after seeing my ass.
aak 6月2日 Pizza Car
5月30日 ThanksI owe 2 fellow space people a big thank you. Thanks Cathy for sending very much needed ranch dressing. And also a big thanks to Aube for sending a miscellaneous goody box (complete with chocolate) that we thought was lost forever.
What is Mizangie plotting? Or sending? I'm in curious anticipation.
This just shows me that there are still wonderful people in the world who expect nothing back in return. It also reminds me how glad I am to have "met" so many of you. I never thought something like a blog could make so many really great friends. So thanks again to all of you!
I love you like Scrat loves his acorn...
 5月25日 Kanga GobblersI am getting really good at this hunting thing.
The other day I was hunting Kangas - not to be confused with the material by the same name - these are birds, strange, exotic birds. They make this funny noise that is similar to the turkey gobble but more gutteral...how can it be more gutteral? Um, I mean it is a bit lower in pitch and faster "gobbles". Yes, that is it! And it even makes total sense, at least to me anyway!
 And check out the gobblers on this thing! How interesting is that? And what are those gobblers used for anyway?
Then there is this picture. Looks like an innocent half-turkey/half-chicken just peacefully minding its own business. Munching on grass. No one really minds if the grass is munched. Just enjoying being a bird. Then WHAMMO! You get to see this picture which captures the wonderful profile of the Kanga. Check out the horn a top this BEAUTIFUL head. I am pondering why a silly bird like this needs a horn. Honestly, a predator only needs to come near this thing to shrink back in fright of the disgusting appearance of this bird. The funny thing is that it looks quite cute an innocent until you get up close. Kind of like some people I know. What is that white stuff on its head? Is it frothing at the ears? A severe infection? This bird went from a sweat innocent looking thing to a vicious monster! I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from this...if something looks fine from one angle, check out a different angle, you might have a nasty surprise waiting for you!
 5月23日 My Perfect JobI am hosting the blog walk this week. Many thanks to Essence of Hope who has kept Ben's blog walk up and going. In light of the recent decision to change jobs, I have chosen a related topic.
If all jobs paid the same salary/benefits and you suddenly had all the knowledge and qualifications for any job, what job would you want to do and why?
I think I would have to do 2 part time jobs...
Quality Control Manager of Cookie Dough. (slang term: cookie dough tester) .... liposuction experimentator.
Yes, I do believe that I will be a perfect set-up for me! I think I would like to work at Pillsbury or the Cookies Etc. that was in my area. Or any of those cookie dough fundraiser things.
5月19日 E-lek-tri-see-tee As many of you have noticed, I have been a bit absent over the last few days/weeks. This is mainly due to power problems in our office. (I admit, I blog at work). I have no computer at home. Sniff...
A "phase" was out. This means that there is some power but not all power. Basically what was going on was that I had AC, one light, no computer, no fax, no phone, no phone charger, no fuel (totally un-related topic), ergo nothing to do. This lasted several days until someone got wise in our office - the handy dandy little electrician. So he goes about his magic and hooks up my computer and everything else up to my AC. I am 100% sure that this is safe and up to code since the electrician is doing this himself. I did not know how he was connnecting things and what the shock (of fright, not of electricity) I got when I turned the AC switch off. WOW! Everything started humming and beeping at me. Ok then, I will leave the AC switch on.
I decided that it is just not enough to explain my situation at my current-soon-to-be-ex job. I must CAPTURE IT! My excuse sounds half-assed until you are able to witness the evidence!
This first photo is the safe, up to code, standard wiring. Please note the wiring caught in the shades. Frisky little wires those ones must be! Also note with how much loving care each wire was carefully, meticulously, laid into its current position.
 While I was taking pictures, ever so cautiously in-case someone thought I was collecting evidence, I noticed something that I have never noticed before. I find this very strange since I turn the thing on almost every day. It must be one of those things that my brain blocks out. I have always noticed how the AC switch is, well, shall we say, slightly removed from the wall. After seeing this many many times I find this a normal thing. The thing that I have NOT noticed before is the nice BLACK CHARRED WALL. How on earth could I possibly have missed something so important?
This charred wall is located about 5 feet from my butt that sits at my wooden desk.
I feel very safe. I mean, wouldn't you? 5月17日 Stranded with...If you were to be stranded on /in an isloated tropical place (like surviver without the cameras) what would you want to bring with you (no more than 15 things can be brought and each item of clothing counts as an item!)? What would you want to learn in preparation for such a journey? Knowing that you will be stranded for a year, who, if anyone would you want with you? In preparation for such a journey I would want to know the many uses of coconuts and their trees and be able to make all of those uses.
I would bring
I have just now noticed that I have no clothes. Well, it is a deserted island and all and I will only be there with hubs if he is alloted 15 things. So this could be a very good thing...
Day #1: Drink all the Jose'. This will allow the body to slowly sink into oblivion and forget about being deserted.
Then I would breed my chickens so that way I would have chicken all the time and I would let my hubby eat the eggs (who I would bring along with as long as he was able to bring his OWN 15 items one better benefit me like my chickens do for him). I would enjoy having him around to do all the hard work.
I would plant some potatoes, tomato seeds, corn, carrots, onions so that I have a never ending supply of those veggies. I have realized that here in TZ those are the most essential cooking ingredients, with them you can accomplish many things.
Coconut trees that will most probably be on the island can be used to make edible oil, rope, liquor, baskets, shelter, and probably a bunch more things plus you can eat the coconuts! Yum! Salt can be harvested from the salt water...
Blender...ah, see this island is tropical so I will have coconuts, pineapples, oranges, lemons, limes, avacado, passion fruits, mangoes, papaya, guava, bananas and probably a whole list I have forgotten or do not know will exist there. So bring out the hooch made from the coconut, add fruit, blend it all up,... An endless array of varieties and flavors. Goes well after the fried chicken you just had....
You put de lime in de coconut drink it all up...
aak
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